Having low emotional intelligence, or EQ, can have a negative impact on your relationships. Some experts even believe that emotional intelligence has more of an impact on your chances of overall success in life than even your IQ. Your emotional intelligence plays a significant role in how you interact with others. With low emotional intelligence, you might find social situations difficult and full of tension. How do you know where you stand on the EQ spectrum? Here are some of the top signs that might suggest you have low emotional intelligence. (And before we jump in, this isn’t a personal attack or critique; think of it as a helpful guide on your life-long journey of improving yourself.)
Getting in a Lot of Arguments
You probably know someone who is quite combative with others, or you might be the one who tends to get into arguments often. Family, friends, colleagues, and even random strangers might find themselves continuously embroiled in disputes with these argumentative people. Since people with low emotional intelligence tend to struggle with understanding other people’s emotions, they may find themselves in conflict with others often, because they’ve failed to consider another’s feelings or perspective.
Not Understanding How Others Feel
People with low emotional intelligence are often (unintentionally!) oblivious to the feelings of others. They simply don’t register that someone might be angry or irritated with them. Not only that, but they tend to feel annoyed that others expect them to know how they are feeling. After all, they’re not a mind reader! However, the people in their life don’t expect clairvoyance; they’re seeking empathy. Considering a situation from another person’s perspective is a skill, and it is foundational to a high EQ.
Believing Others Are Overly Sensitive
People who have low emotional intelligence might tell jokes at inappropriate times and become offended when someone calls them out. When others react to these out-of-line jokes, those with low emotional intelligence might feel that others are being too sensitive. Because people with a low EQ find it challenging to understand the emotions of others, it is difficult for them to “read the room,” and take an appropriate, kinder tone.
Refusing to Consider Other Points of View
Individuals without high emotional intelligence feel that they are right and will defend their position while refusing to listen to what others have to say. This is particularly true when others are critical of them, and it can be hard for them to take constructive feedback.. Empathy, compassion, and the ability to put yourself in someone else’s perspective are trademarks of a high EQ. Those who are lower on the EQ scale might be overly critical of the feelings of others and often are pessimistic in how they view relationships or the world at large.
Blaming Others for Your Mistakes
Individuals who have low emotional intelligence have very little insight into how their own emotions might create problems not just for themselves, but those around them, too. When things start to go wrong in their lives, their first instinct is to blame others for their problems. They might suggest that they didn’t have a choice for and that others simply don’t understand their situation. It’s important to take responsibility for your actions, feelings, and responses; otherwise, you are left feeling like a victim.
Low emotional intelligence can wreak havoc in not only your life, but also the lives of others, particularly those close to you. If you identify any one of the above traits in yourself, assess your emotional intelligence, and take conscious steps to improving it. It might be tough to be honest with yourself, but lose the self-judgement and hammer down. You’ll be amazed what changes you’ll see in your interpersonal relationships, both at work and at home.